My daughter gained a valuable understanding of life before attending her new school last week. She was very anxious that the teachers and staff would expect her to be the same as her brother who was involved with key school activities and well known to staff, for all the right reasons! He had moved schools, so the thought was big on her mind that she had to walk in his shoes!
We chatted with her about how much she had done of her own and carved her own path of interest, creativity and activity, both in and out of school. She told us of all the fun, scary and exciting things what she loved doing. She agreed that others may see her as a confident person doing many things they didn’t and possibly feel inadequate and less self-assured as a consequence.
She understood that what she did in her life was different to others and the only shoes to fill were hers. She finally stated to her mother, “mum, the only boots to fill are my own and I just need to be myself!”
We are all a make up of the life experiences, the influences from those around us, media, online media, work, education and the list goes on. For most there is an expectation that we ‘SHOULD’ be more than we are now which sets up a distorted view of ourselves, an energy of lack and not good enough. We strive to achieve what we believe is right or acceptable, regardless of our inner knowing and values. Values and knowing’s that have meaning and purpose, it’s the stuff that people talk about being ‘true to ourselves’ and walking on our own shoes.
In our industrialised world that is not acceptable and seen as Hippy, oddball, weird, irresponsible or eccentric. I see many ‘successful’ people dying inside while pushing hard, living an existence they have created with a lifestyle there’re scared to let go of. So they continue doing what they do, many falling into ill health through years of underlying stress and anxiety.
Following our expectation of ‘trying’ to be someone who ‘fits in’, creates an imbalance and damages self-confidence and self-esteem. In one respect we portray a persona of a confident person to the world however, inside it can feel like a cauldron of mixed and upsetting emotions eating away. If you have ever done anything that takes you out of your comfort zone, then you know what it feels like. Imagine living that day in day out! The trouble is most people are doing it and have become anesthetised to the discomfort using alcohol, drugs and the many addictions to distract themselves form the discomfort.
Our daughter at a young age is learning that all she has to do is walk in her own shoes and fill her own boots, not try to live someone else’s! If she continues, and we are here to guide and encourage her, she will become her own person, living her own life from her values, her passions, following her inner gifts and living a joyful life she loves.
Roy Martin MBE has been helping people transform themselves for over twenty years, guiding and mentoring them to develop lives and businesses that have meaning and purpose. He helps people gain focus and direction to follow their inner calling and talents whether that’s personally, professionally or in business.
He helps people see life from a different perspective and understanding, a ‘letting go’ of the minds resistance, pain and emotional disharmony allowing levels of awareness that are life transforming.
He runs personal mentorship programmes, events and gives talks inspiring people into the ‘More of life’ that is filled with meaning and purpose.
+44 (0)121 4398955