One of the biggest gifts you can give to another is the ability to hear and acknowledge them, to be a witness to what they are saying and expressing. When this happens, they truly feel heard and that opens them to feel loved, accepted, trusting and okay with who they are.
Few people really listen to another person, we are too busy and distracted to slow down and hear others. What we do hear and say tends to be superficial in nature. Energetically, people pick up on this and they learn not to be open with us, and why should they, the energy we are sending is ‘we are not listening anyway!’
Many people who feel they are different in some way can keep themselves to themselves. This creates a sense of isolation and although it’s nice to have our own space at times, this behaviour can open the doors for unhealthy beliefs to develop which energetically, creates a barrier and pushes others away. It also creates stress.
The world seems wired to negative expression and it can be very challenging to be yourself and have conversations without people making critical or judgemental comments. It takes a strong minded individual to brush off others negativity. Because the world seems to get pleasure putting people down and making them wrong, we learn to keep our own counsel and not talk about the things we would like to. We become a people pleaser to fit into the world and that is stressful behaviour, being something that we are not just to please others and be accepted. It is a behaviour that brings up frustration, guilt and a sense of lack as we feel inept to speak our truth and that is not healthy.
Its important to find a tribe or community of like-minded people to associate with. People who are like you and as such will not judge you for you being yourself. Its like coming home to a group of close friends who take you for who and what you are. Being with your group allows people to feel safe and engage on conversations they would not normally outside of the group. Its a camaraderie that is found in very close-knit groups such as the military and first responders.
Okay, so let’s look at what we can do. Get self-aware, allow yourself to open to who you truly are, acknowledge and accept that. It is very empowering speaking from your heart about the things you are passionate about and the things that have meaning and purpose for you. When you do people listen as it feels authentic for them. When we pussy foot about they feel our inauthenticity, our lack of purpose and respond accordingly.
Write down the things you love, are passionate about, have a keen interest in, things you could chat the hind legs off a donkey about! Search for people, groups or organisations who resonate with. If you can’t find any, sent one up! Go explore the group meetings until you find the one that suits and fits you. You will know which it is as you will be able to chat and express yourself fully without feeling judged, odd or out of place.
But also, learn and develop the skill of listening to others, I mean truly listening to people from your heart. It’s giving them your full attention, hearing more than just the words and it’s also what they are not saying and you feel the energy they are radiating.
When you truly learn to hear people, the tribe becomes closer and relationships deeper. It’s a freeing experience being heard and in a group that cares, it enables people to personally and spiritually evolve, to live and be themselves, to open to love and help other do the same.
Once you’ve mastered it, share it to others, pass it on!
Roy Martin MBE has been helping people transform themselves for over twenty years, guiding and mentoring them to develop lives and businesses that have meaning and purpose.
Roy teaches life with an understanding of the 'More of Life' that transcends the minds ego needs. He helps people connect with their passions and talents, to do the things they love and to follow their calling in life, to be themselves! Most find that what they really want to do touches the lives of others and makes a difference. It opens them to their inner leader.