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Tips to keep our mind in balance - Mental awareness week

#3 Letting go, learning non attachment to things, people and outcomes

May 16, 2019

When you master his one, your life will change beyond all measure, the art of ‘letting go’ of our attachments.

This one is a major trigger of anxiousness and stress in life as we are taught throughout our young lives’ attachment to people, things and outcomes. They have become such a way of life the thought of ‘letting go’ can feel the antitheses of what we think and is one we can struggle persisting with. We can be attached to how we and others look, what we wear, habits and behaviours, health, sport, fitness, eating, criticism, negativity, beliefs, what we drive, where we live, goals, targets and all manner of things. The greater the attachment the stronger the emotional response when our attachment is not met! Don’t judge yourself or others for doing this as it’s a human behaviour, so don’t make it right or wrong.

Attachment causes pain when its not being met. So often in the modern world we see people attached to things and if they lose or break them there is an emotional reaction, the greater the attachment the more intense the response, just think how you reacted when you broke or lost something. We have created a ‘need’ to have this item and its demise for many is unfathomable and we see, all to often, people going into poor mental states because of it.

We also do this in life with situations and circumstances. In our minds we are daily creating dramas and living our beliefs through our thinking and behaviours. We have become so attached to them and their outcomes that when others do not play ‘our game’ or match our ‘beliefs’ we go into responses and behaviours to restore our control. The more attached we are the greater our judgement. You can see this played out everywhere, people being demanding, bullying, manipulating, playing mind games, being emotional, judgemental, lack of integrity, with some resorting to physical behaviour or well-being issues.

Okay let’s look at what we can do to begin the journey of ‘letting go’ our need for attachment, but first let’s consider why we would let go of something that has been integral within us for years and the question, ‘who will I be without all my dramas and attachments’?

By its nature, attachment puts us in a box that controls our emotions and behaviours in response to life experiences and reinforces our limiting beliefs. Letting go of attachments, releases our controlling box of limitation, enabling us to become more of who we truly are and do the things that have meaning and purpose for us. We become free from the things that have bound us! Without the dramas we experience life with joy, happiness and satisfaction. Living in these high energies, we have changed our relationship with anxiousness and stress for the better. As for the question “Who will I become”, well, you become more of the real you, being true to who you really are, the you that feels a stronger connection with your intuitive self. You will be free of the emotional attachment to things, you may still have them but how you see them will be different.

I would highly recommend you readthe book by Dr David Hawkins, “Letting Go, the pathway to surrender”. As a psychiatrist he explains in layman’s language how and why we engage in our emotions and behaviours and shows where we fit in the ‘levels of consciousness’ scale.

Let’s have a look at the art of Letting Go! The process is a constant mind intent to let go of the emotions under pinning the thought that is triggering your behaviours, the ones you would rather not have. When you experience the thought ask yourself:

“What is this emotion of this thought and how is it benefiting me in some way?"

You may get an answer but no worries if not, feel the emotion and intent to “Let the emotion go” in your mind, to release it. Keep doing this until you get a resolve. It may move into something else, if that happens keep following the same process until it goes.

Constantly doing this exercise will slowly, sometimes quickly, rewire the mind and you will find yourself responding differently and the emotion will lift. You will eventually experience that same situation or issue in a more detached way, it will not bother you. You have ‘let go’ of the need for it to control you and that’s freeing. Enjoy your journey to mental freedom.

Once you’ve mastered it, share it with others, pass it on!

Roy Martin MBE has been helping people transform themselves for over twenty years, guiding and mentoring them to develop lives and businesses that have meaning and purpose.

Roy teaches life with an understanding of the 'More of Life' that transcends the minds ego needs. He helps people connect with their passions and talents, to do the things they love and to follow their calling in life, to be themselves! Most find that what they really want to do touches the lives of others and makes a difference. It opens them to their inner leader.

He runs events, mentorship programmes, and gives talks inspiring people to live the ‘More of life’ that is filled with meaning, purpose and success. He also works with organisations helping them develop their teams and leaders.